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Don’t Know How to Respond? Try These Comebacks

by Michelle Chen

Have you ever experienced a loss of words when someone says something? Well, I experience this almost everyday, caused by my younger brother. Luckily, I have compiled a short list of all the things I could say, if he annoys me. Here is my list of comebacks, just so you’re always prepared. 

I often share my opinions, and people say, “Did I ask?”. I like to reply with:

  • No, but you needed to know. 
  • I’m not answering you, I’m telling you.
  • Then why are you listening?

I’ve never used these ones personally, they’re pretty brutal: 

  • If you’re only capable of accepting information on your terms, the issues you have go a lot deeper than your ignorance of the topic at hand. (from Reddit user)
  • Bold of you to assume that I would need permission to answer the likes of you. Know your place. (also from Reddit user)

Or, just say yes (even if they didn’t ask):

  • Yes, yes you did. 

When someone says, “ok, AAAND?” after I say something, I just say:

  • AND I already made my point so you should’ve listened closer. 

Yeah… that’s the only one I have for this. 

Here is a list of other comebacks to use whenever. Keep in mind to not use these against someone who can’t take a joke. 

  • Zombies eat brains, you’re safe. 
  • You’re my favorite person… besides every other person I’ve met.
  • If you were a spice, you’d be flour.
  • You’re the reason that toothpaste tubes have instructions on them. 
  • Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business again. 

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