Home Selfcare Cope


by Kevin Cong

Hello, everyone! Sorry to break the news, but you all will fail one day! Yes, I realize that it sounds bad, but there is no denying that it will happen and that it will happen thousands of times throughout your life. And the kicker is, failure…sucks. No matter if it is getting a bad grade on a test, missing the due date on a project, or getting rejected by your high school crush, failure often leaves you feeling sad, useless, and even angry. This is why I am here today. I am here to guide you through a series of actions you can take in order to feel better, even if just a little bit. And to make sure that next time you can properly deal with your emotions when you encounter failures, however big or small.

Learning from Failure | SEI

  1. Realize its insignificance

When you fail, specifically if it is something you worked really hard for or really long on, it can be devastating. It could feel like the whole world is crashing down and you are losing your purpose. However, in a haze of emotions, you fail to recognize just how minor this failure is to your life. When you fail, think about yourself five years ago, and try to remember even one failure. To most people, that is extremely difficult, and it sometimes even seems like you didn’t do anything five years ago. You have to realize that five years from now, you’re gonna feel the same way about this failure: you won’t even remember it, much less stress over it, so what’s the point in grieving right now?


  1. Accept your emotions

After a tough loss or breakup, people often make the mistake of trying to minimize their feelings. Be it drinking alcohol, using substances, or even harming oneself, most ways of minimizing feelings lead to bad outcomes. This is why one should accept their feelings, embrace them, and allow them to hurt you for a couple of days. By doing this, although difficult, can drastically decrease the probability of the person dwelling on his/her feelings, unable to move on. By letting those feelings out, you can clean your slate and start fresh.


  1. Don’t worry about what other people think

Do not, and I repeat do not, let other people’s words dig you deeper into failure. This is your life, and other people don’t understand it. You are the only one who understands your failure thoroughly enough to know how to feel about it. Also, there is no way to control what someone else thinks of you, so why bother?


  1. Take responsibility and learn

Although failures might feel crushing, it is still important to keep your head clear and learn what you did wrong. While it might be easy to blame everything on others, you should still take the correct amount of responsibility: don’t shift all the blame, but don’t bear it all in either. By doing this, you can truly grow from your mistakes and become better.

That’s all I have today! Remember that you are great! Rock On!


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